I began my fall cleanup October first and started strong. My goal was to declutter five items each day. Mid month, illness delayed my efforts but I picked up the challenge again in November to complete my thirty-one days.
It was interesting how varied and random my items were. Some things were mine, some were items left from my children, and some were from my teaching years. Items came from every room in my house and although I'm glad to have it all out of here, it's hard to see a big impact because of that. It amazes me how I can take bags of stuff, big black lawn bags of stuff, seven so far, out of this house but not see a huge impact. Of course, I notice as I am more in tune to details but I doubt my husband has noticed.
As I decluttered and came across empty containers or emptied baskets, I gather them all together and now have three apple boxes full of containers. I gave a couple away to a friend who stopped by and when asked, picked out four containers for items she was trying to organize. When I am finished with my whole house declutter, any containers I do not need will be donated.
I found letting go so much easier at this point in my life. I was hanging on to a lot of my teaching items in case I go back into that field but was able to let go of a lot of it. I now have a bunch to donate to the local teaching center and to a local preschool.
I will continue to declutter as we head toward the end of 2018 but of course this time of year is busy so I will not have a daily item goal. Today, I came across six rolls of wallpaper that will be the beginnings of a new donation pile. This coming week will find me tackling the holiday decorating so that should generate some more things as I focus on the meaningful decorations and let go of the rest.
I think the process of focusing on meaningful things has really helped me make a mental shift which makes it easier make decisions about which things are important and which items I still want tp be a part of my life. I can glimpse a bit more the life I imagine and therefore can work toward. I feel that simplifying my surroundings will open more room for creative space and time. Oh, and the grand total is two hundred and one items!
Saturday, November 24, 2018
Delayed but 93 Items Decluttered
I have been waylaid, sidelined, laid down, but I am not out. Mid October I got sick with a throbbing headache, nausea, cough, and fever. I was tested and it was not the flu. It did turn into bronchitis and the cough hung on for about two weeks. The cough disrupts sleep, and the allergy medicine to stop the drainage makes me tired. However, I continued with my decluttering to finish my thirty-one days although it did not get finished in a 'calendar' month. These items were tackled in November but I will put the dates for October on them.
October 15: five paperbacks
October 16: five more paperbacks
October 17: five more paperbacks
October 18: four paperbacks and a shoe box
October 19; a dog bed, wire basket, headband, sweatshirt, straw dispenser
October 20: racetrack, chest of games, two children's books, party favor bags
October 21: cowgirl had, gloves, tutu, three rings, drawstring bag
October 22: two hats, spiderman glove, prayer book, cosmetic bag
October 23: three cookie cutters, two forks, two spoons, novelty straw
October 24: silk flowers, football, new bath poof, Volkswagon stress car, candle holder
October 25: plastic container, votive holder, two drawstring bags, glasses case
October 26: hoop skirt, canvas bag, coffee pot, twirly toy, two books
October 27: plastic container full of small toys 20+, dress shirt, two car seat covers, Nerf gun
October 28: pack of postcards, two tins, two books
October 29: remote, game
October 29: five crossstitch pattern magazines
October 30: five bubble wands
October 31: lamp, basket, shirt two bags polyfill
October 15: five paperbacks
October 16: five more paperbacks
October 17: five more paperbacks
October 18: four paperbacks and a shoe box
October 19; a dog bed, wire basket, headband, sweatshirt, straw dispenser
October 20: racetrack, chest of games, two children's books, party favor bags
October 21: cowgirl had, gloves, tutu, three rings, drawstring bag
October 22: two hats, spiderman glove, prayer book, cosmetic bag
October 23: three cookie cutters, two forks, two spoons, novelty straw
October 24: silk flowers, football, new bath poof, Volkswagon stress car, candle holder
October 25: plastic container, votive holder, two drawstring bags, glasses case
October 26: hoop skirt, canvas bag, coffee pot, twirly toy, two books
October 27: plastic container full of small toys 20+, dress shirt, two car seat covers, Nerf gun
October 28: pack of postcards, two tins, two books
October 29: remote, game
October 29: five crossstitch pattern magazines
October 30: five bubble wands
October 31: lamp, basket, shirt two bags polyfill
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Third Week: Thirty-six Items and a Travel Trailer
Accountability is important when making a commitment to something. I'm finding that posting these pictures and blogging about this decluttering effort is really helping me push through when life gets busy or I get lazy.
A major item that was released this week was a travel trailer. We had just purchased it last year, a 2016 model, and had not been able to use it much at all. I had purchased many items to 'furnish' it with adequate bedding, dishes, bath items, etc. A hail storm hit here at the end of the summer and it was quite significant at our location. We had several things damaged and the trailer was one of them. We had no indication of the extent until the adjuster came out and a few days later we were informed it was totaled!
We did not expect that and the thought had not even entered our minds. It turns out the labor is quite expensive when replacing hail-beat siding and there was more dents than we had initially seen. The inside was still in new condition so it was a bit of a struggle to decide what to do. Our lack of proximity to a dealer who could do the work, inevitably swayed the decision to let the trailer go to the insurance company. It will be auctioned off and we are confident that the new owners will feel blessed to get such a nice trailer at a good price.
It also presented a conundrum: what to do with all of our 'furnishings' and personal affects that had to be removed. Most will be moved to our older trailer that we keep down by the lake and those things traded for will be brought back and donated. Until then, I now have to store all that stuff.
This kind of unexpected happening is what throws me off. The phone calls, emails, appointments associated with any insurance claim is very time consuming but USAA makes it as simple as possible. Then there is the time to take possessions out of the trailer and make decisions about it, then store it.
Regardless, I managed to continue with the decluttering goals in the house and below you will find the items released this week:
A major item that was released this week was a travel trailer. We had just purchased it last year, a 2016 model, and had not been able to use it much at all. I had purchased many items to 'furnish' it with adequate bedding, dishes, bath items, etc. A hail storm hit here at the end of the summer and it was quite significant at our location. We had several things damaged and the trailer was one of them. We had no indication of the extent until the adjuster came out and a few days later we were informed it was totaled!
We did not expect that and the thought had not even entered our minds. It turns out the labor is quite expensive when replacing hail-beat siding and there was more dents than we had initially seen. The inside was still in new condition so it was a bit of a struggle to decide what to do. Our lack of proximity to a dealer who could do the work, inevitably swayed the decision to let the trailer go to the insurance company. It will be auctioned off and we are confident that the new owners will feel blessed to get such a nice trailer at a good price.
It also presented a conundrum: what to do with all of our 'furnishings' and personal affects that had to be removed. Most will be moved to our older trailer that we keep down by the lake and those things traded for will be brought back and donated. Until then, I now have to store all that stuff.
This kind of unexpected happening is what throws me off. The phone calls, emails, appointments associated with any insurance claim is very time consuming but USAA makes it as simple as possible. Then there is the time to take possessions out of the trailer and make decisions about it, then store it.
Regardless, I managed to continue with the decluttering goals in the house and below you will find the items released this week:
Oct. 15: two magazines, a plastic cup, a water bottle and a cookie cutter.
Oct. 16: three pairs of old shoes, and not pictured; a cell phone case plastic jewelry all in the trash.
Oct. 17: pair of sandals, book, jewelry pouch to donate, a shoe box and magazine in the trash.
Oct. 18: six plates and a vintage school desk.
Oct. 19: a crayon maker, a jewelry box, a velvet folder, the shirt below and a cornhusk doll which is not seen but is in the crayon maker box.
Oct. 20: two small glass cups, a birthday glass, a kids wallet (all donated), and a pair of slippers for the trash
Oct. 21: a drawstring bag, a hourglass timer, and four paperbacks.
The grand total for October so far is one hundred forty four items! This past Saturday, we took three large yard bags of the stuff I had collected since the last drop off, along with the desk, and donated them to the DAV. This week we've started new bags and can't wait to fill them.
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Decluttering Continues: Thirty-five More Items
Decluttering continues although this week saw some challenges. One of my children was diagnosed with pneumonia after two doctor visits and a chest x-ray. Every parent knows that when your child is sick, you don't get proper rest. Her coughing kept her and us up for hours on end and running short of sleep really affects me. I don't function well.
A freeze was also forecast for this past weekend. Some things in the garden needed attended to and all tropical plants had to be brought in. We also had to get our travel trailer winterized which meant a day for travel there and back along with the work needed.
However, I still tried to declutter each day which includes choosing things to donate and some things to throw away. I should have a load ready to take out to a thrift store by Saturday.
Oct. 8th: Five random coffee cups.
Oct. 10: An egg jello mold, ruler, Frankenstein cup, candle, vase.
Sunday, October 7, 2018
Seven Day Declutter Results: 73 Items Going Out
My goal is to get rid of five things each day in October. Right now I am only counting items that go into the donation bags. In the first seven days in October, I have been able to add 73 items to the donation area. I have also put many things in the trash or recycle area but I'm not counting those.
What strikes me is the randomness of some of these items. Some things are left from my almost grown children and some things are left from my teaching career. Some things, like Jello molds, are just things I won't use anymore as Jello is not plant-based. I actually used to often make my kids Jello cubes or Jigglers as they are now called. The NASCAR ones are about 20 years old and may be collectible now. Who knows, maybe it will make the DAV a few dollars.
I feel good that I have been able to exceed the five item goal on most days. It will be interesting to see the monthly total but as with most long-term projects, motivation in the beginning is easy. It's the daily grind where momentum can slip so I will have to guard against it. If you are working on having less stuff in your house and blog about it, put your link in the comments below and I'd like to check it out.
Oct.3: 21 books.
Oct.4: 12 books, atlas, gag dice, dress up ring, wooden box.
Oct. 5: New Year's hat, bee tin, 2 cross stitch pattern magazines, one Wellness text book.
Oct. 6: My 'w' Book, paperback, penguin tub toy, character toy, Spanish Language Course.
Oct. 7: Water game, prickly ball, 4 western history paperbacks.
Monday, October 1, 2018
Five Things Everyday for My Fall Declutter
Spring Cleaning has never been my thing. When those warm winds start blowing after a cold winter, the last thing I want to do is stay in and clean. I want to be outside, soaking up the sun as I dig in the dirt and plan my gardens.
Fall cleaning makes more sense to me. I'm getting ready to be stuck inside after closing the windows up for the winter. I have to live with my dirt and clutter all winter. That is motivation for doing a fall clean and declutter.
I am ready to continue with decluttering. It has actually been an ongoing mission for the last two and a half years although not consistent due to real life things such as special events, vacations, activities, illness; yeah real life. I have gotten rid of bags of stuff including clothes, books, small appliances, dishes, odds and ends, etc. I can tell a difference in most areas but to others, the change may not be as obvious. We still have way too much stuff. Things are still far from my optimum goal of quite minimal spaces with the exception of my craft supplies.
To make a more structured and focused effort this month, I have decided on the number five. There is no particular reason as I could have easily picked 3 or 7 or even 10, however, it's my number and I pick five. I will git rid of a minimum of five things each day. That will be one hundred and fifty-five things for the month of October. I actually started the last three days of September but October is my focus month.
There are also things I recycle or throw away but I don't always count those. My five things for today were found on a side table in the den. Why were they there? Leftover random things from years gone by. I actually use to use the school house box which is made out of plastic canvas. I kept my Post-It notes in it when I taught school. There is a panda puzzle which I'm not sure has ever been used, a new beach ball, a stack of very large play money, and a package of waxed rope, in today's group.
It is interesting how things accumulate and we just don't notice them anymore. These things have been sitting there since 2015 and maybe longer. So many things we own but don't use or need. I was listening to Minimal Mom on YouTube today and she talked about how we have to manage the inventory in our houses. I had never thought of stuff in that regard but the statement is utter truth. Managing inventory may sound like something you want on your resume', but it denotes something that requires attention and therefore energy.
I'm at a point in my life that I don't have extra energy to manage inventory. The answer of course is to have less inventory.
What's also interesting is how our view of our things change. I went through cookbooks recently and it was so easy to part with so many of them. I donated two brown grocery sacks full. I have went through those same books in the past and obviously those were put in the keep stack last time but easily landed in the donate pile this round. The books haven't changed, so obviously I have.
I'm sure I have looked over the above five items at some point in the recent past also and for some reason decided they were keepers. Today, they didn't require even a second thought as to their future in this house.
I don't foresee posting every day about this topic but I will take pictures of each day's items and post them at some point. That's for accountability on my part. If I miss a day I will double up on items the next. There are no big plans for October but in real life, you never know what may come up.
Friday, April 6, 2018
I Recently Realized I'm an Anxious Person: On the Inside Anyway
As I've aged, I've had a few epiphanies. Every time I have one, I grow in self-understanding a bit, while at the same time I find ways to adapt my life and thinking to the new information. Both are good things.
Over the past year, I've realized that I am quite an anxious person. Now, no one would know this as I project professionalism at work and a calm at home, but it is true. I'm not a blow-in-a-paper-bag anxious person. I'm not a screaming or high drama anxious person. I'm more of a analytical, keep it inside, isolationist, type of an anxious person.
This has a lot to do with expectations of others on me,whether stated, implied, or assumed. It has to do withearly childhood experiences, growing up experiences, middle school experiences, high school, okay basically all my life experiences and the people surrounding me. People are unpredictable. I believe it because time and again I've experienced it. They can't be trusted to be emotionally steady, behaviorally stable, or dependable. The very few people whom I have known to have those qualities are on my very short list of people I admire. Those on the short list are also connected to God. Perhaps those two things correlate.
When you are a child you really have no control over what happens in your life. You are at the mercy of all those who are in charge of making decisions. Life happens to you and hopefully you survive with few scars and much empathy. You embrace the day you finally do have a say in your own life. You make choices, live with your decisions, and make different choices when things are no longer working. In essence, you become a responsible adult.
This is what I thought everyone did. Not true. Look around. It is a scary thing to do. Adults making bad decisions over and over again, creating and seeking out drama, refusing to take responsibility for their choices, blaming others for their situation, and expecting others to fulfill them. The list goes on and on. Their children are reflections of them. That's a scary thought for the future.
Due to the prevalence of this type of person in society, I have to have it together or be drawn into the same unpredictability and emotional roller coasters I encountered as a youth. Therefore, I make decisions, get tasks done, guide others, teach others, do my share and more, find a way to finish the job, and do it all while playing peacekeeper and keeping everyone content and monitoring their emotional status. It is exhausting and it underlies my anxiety.
I resigned from my job a couple years ago. I finished my masters degree. I should be back in the workforce. I want to find fulfilling work, however, I do not want to be responsible for other people's behavior. I don't want to control it, manage it, direct it, or be a victim of it; at work or at home.
All of those things bring me great anxiety. I have trouble sleeping at night. Always have. I analyze, remember, plan, and worry about many things. Usually those things are other people's actions, reactions, or expectations. I cognitively understand I have no control over any of those things.
Your temper, meltdown, or breakdown, is beyond my control and yet I must somehow keep balance in the universe because if not, then those things will burst forth from you and spill over to me. Experience has shown me that your toxic emotional waste will affect me in some way which will likely be worse than the energy required to keep you together.
One such experience was the initial impetus for the heart palpitations that begin about a year before I resigned. Specifics are not included as it would benefit no one.
The heart palpitations were a gift. They set me on the road to prayer over whether to leave my position. They first alarmed me as a health concern but I quickly realized they were in response to my job, or more specifically, going back to work after the week end.
The fibromyalgia symptoms became worse which was also a nudge from God to really consider where I was and why. Several other 'signs' were made clear to me as answers to my prayers of where my life path should be at that time. I clearly knew He had led me into the position six years prior and now I knew He was leading me out. The position was honorable but I had to trust God's direction. Clearly I had served my purpose there, and it was time to move on.
During my degree work, I became aware of healthy and unhealthy anxiety. Anxiety in response to an assignment deadline was different then anxiety for an unknown reason. The assignment was in my control. I was able to complete the task and meet my standards for the outcome. The anxiety was a motivator that heightened my senses and energized me. Unhealthy anxiety was in response to unknowable factors: mostly other people.
What would their mood be? Would they be welcoming or standoffish? Would they ask for information? Would they expect me to volunteer? Would they want me to chair or lead a group? Would they want to tell me their problems and want professional or personal advice? Would they expect humor, intelligence, calming words? This type of anxiety has increased in my life over the last ten years. Total strangers feel the need to tell me their life stories and intimate details I do not need to know.
Anxiety makes me different than who I really am. At home, I am funny, intelligent, artistic, talented, creative, reflective, helpful, hardworking, steady, stable, dependable, and supportive. I am fun. I often make up songs on the fly, sing and dance with my teenager, display a quick wit, and am a competitive and enthusiastic board game player. I love to travel, hike, try new things, and learn. I enjoy a glass of wine occasionally or a beer after mowing but am not a bar-hopping party person. I enjoy my life; except for the anxiety.
In my previous position, I felt like I lost the fun me. Anxiety steels my fun side. Co-workers sense this. They come to me for all the other things but I am seldom included in the fun. All of their expectations keep me from relaxing and showing that side. All of their expectations make me anxious.
It is not all 'their' fault. I have high expectations for myself personally and in my profession. I want to be competent, knowledgeable, and professional. The job demands it and I demand it from myself. That is the aura that surrounds me and one that benefits my co-workers and others. If I don't know the answer, I'm willing to put the effort in to find it. I will put the effort in to do things the right way and apply best practices. Others then see me as someone to rely on. I am stable, consistent, and dependable. However, it does not equate with fun.
The expectations preclude the anxiety and the anxiety prohibits relaxation and with no relaxation there is no fun. So I am left with anxiety. There is some of this anxiety at home, too. There is a temper or two in this house and a few things they believe only mom can do, however, I have had years of it and am able to somewhat predict and avert it although this too, is exhausting.
I have no idea who I would be if I could just be me. I tend toward calmness, quietness (except when dancing and jamming to 80's music), and nature. I like lists to accomplish the have-tos and wish lists to work toward the want-tos. I like a good laugh at no ones' expense. I talk to God often and rely on His Spirit to guide me in the little things and the big things.
The anxiety is not from God.
God is the reason I can be emotionally steady, behaviorally stable, and dependable. He calms my anxiety. He is predictable with His love, acceptance, and presence. A busy life that takes me away from Him, allows anxiety to consume more of my thoughts and actions than I want. There will always be some anxiety in life as unknowns will always be a part of our future, but I want that anxiety to be one that heightens my awareness. I could do with less anxiety that revolves around me living up to some one's expectations of who I am and what I can do for them.
Recognizing that I have issues with unhealthy anxiety makes me more aware that others may also. Awareness allows me to reflect on the expectations that I put on others. I've started taking time to work some small talk in before making a request, even on the telephone. I never wanted to waste peoples' time before so I would try to be efficient and get to the point. I now see how the small effort on my part allows both of us to relax a bit before delving into the 'reason' for the encounter.
I've given up on inviting people over or to go do things, for now anyway. Those invites, though always accepted, sometimes more than once, were seldom reciprocated. I tend to take that as rejection, but perhaps it was their anxiety interfering. So as I work on not being all things to all people, I understand that others' temper, meltdown, or breakdown, is beyond my control and I will no longer try to keep balance in the universe. I can just walk away; or skip, because that is much more fun.
Over the past year, I've realized that I am quite an anxious person. Now, no one would know this as I project professionalism at work and a calm at home, but it is true. I'm not a blow-in-a-paper-bag anxious person. I'm not a screaming or high drama anxious person. I'm more of a analytical, keep it inside, isolationist, type of an anxious person.
This has a lot to do with expectations of others on me,whether stated, implied, or assumed. It has to do with
When you are a child you really have no control over what happens in your life. You are at the mercy of all those who are in charge of making decisions. Life happens to you and hopefully you survive with few scars and much empathy. You embrace the day you finally do have a say in your own life. You make choices, live with your decisions, and make different choices when things are no longer working. In essence, you become a responsible adult.
This is what I thought everyone did. Not true. Look around. It is a scary thing to do. Adults making bad decisions over and over again, creating and seeking out drama, refusing to take responsibility for their choices, blaming others for their situation, and expecting others to fulfill them. The list goes on and on. Their children are reflections of them. That's a scary thought for the future.
Due to the prevalence of this type of person in society, I have to have it together or be drawn into the same unpredictability and emotional roller coasters I encountered as a youth. Therefore, I make decisions, get tasks done, guide others, teach others, do my share and more, find a way to finish the job, and do it all while playing peacekeeper and keeping everyone content and monitoring their emotional status. It is exhausting and it underlies my anxiety.
I resigned from my job a couple years ago. I finished my masters degree. I should be back in the workforce. I want to find fulfilling work, however, I do not want to be responsible for other people's behavior. I don't want to control it, manage it, direct it, or be a victim of it; at work or at home.
All of those things bring me great anxiety. I have trouble sleeping at night. Always have. I analyze, remember, plan, and worry about many things. Usually those things are other people's actions, reactions, or expectations. I cognitively understand I have no control over any of those things.
Your temper, meltdown, or breakdown, is beyond my control and yet I must somehow keep balance in the universe because if not, then those things will burst forth from you and spill over to me. Experience has shown me that your toxic emotional waste will affect me in some way which will likely be worse than the energy required to keep you together.
One such experience was the initial impetus for the heart palpitations that begin about a year before I resigned. Specifics are not included as it would benefit no one.
The heart palpitations were a gift. They set me on the road to prayer over whether to leave my position. They first alarmed me as a health concern but I quickly realized they were in response to my job, or more specifically, going back to work after the week end.
The fibromyalgia symptoms became worse which was also a nudge from God to really consider where I was and why. Several other 'signs' were made clear to me as answers to my prayers of where my life path should be at that time. I clearly knew He had led me into the position six years prior and now I knew He was leading me out. The position was honorable but I had to trust God's direction. Clearly I had served my purpose there, and it was time to move on.
During my degree work, I became aware of healthy and unhealthy anxiety. Anxiety in response to an assignment deadline was different then anxiety for an unknown reason. The assignment was in my control. I was able to complete the task and meet my standards for the outcome. The anxiety was a motivator that heightened my senses and energized me. Unhealthy anxiety was in response to unknowable factors: mostly other people.
What would their mood be? Would they be welcoming or standoffish? Would they ask for information? Would they expect me to volunteer? Would they want me to chair or lead a group? Would they want to tell me their problems and want professional or personal advice? Would they expect humor, intelligence, calming words? This type of anxiety has increased in my life over the last ten years. Total strangers feel the need to tell me their life stories and intimate details I do not need to know.
Anxiety makes me different than who I really am. At home, I am funny, intelligent, artistic, talented, creative, reflective, helpful, hardworking, steady, stable, dependable, and supportive. I am fun. I often make up songs on the fly, sing and dance with my teenager, display a quick wit, and am a competitive and enthusiastic board game player. I love to travel, hike, try new things, and learn. I enjoy a glass of wine occasionally or a beer after mowing but am not a bar-hopping party person. I enjoy my life; except for the anxiety.
In my previous position, I felt like I lost the fun me. Anxiety steels my fun side. Co-workers sense this. They come to me for all the other things but I am seldom included in the fun. All of their expectations keep me from relaxing and showing that side. All of their expectations make me anxious.
It is not all 'their' fault. I have high expectations for myself personally and in my profession. I want to be competent, knowledgeable, and professional. The job demands it and I demand it from myself. That is the aura that surrounds me and one that benefits my co-workers and others. If I don't know the answer, I'm willing to put the effort in to find it. I will put the effort in to do things the right way and apply best practices. Others then see me as someone to rely on. I am stable, consistent, and dependable. However, it does not equate with fun.
The expectations preclude the anxiety and the anxiety prohibits relaxation and with no relaxation there is no fun. So I am left with anxiety. There is some of this anxiety at home, too. There is a temper or two in this house and a few things they believe only mom can do, however, I have had years of it and am able to somewhat predict and avert it although this too, is exhausting.
I have no idea who I would be if I could just be me. I tend toward calmness, quietness (except when dancing and jamming to 80's music), and nature. I like lists to accomplish the have-tos and wish lists to work toward the want-tos. I like a good laugh at no ones' expense. I talk to God often and rely on His Spirit to guide me in the little things and the big things.
The anxiety is not from God.
God is the reason I can be emotionally steady, behaviorally stable, and dependable. He calms my anxiety. He is predictable with His love, acceptance, and presence. A busy life that takes me away from Him, allows anxiety to consume more of my thoughts and actions than I want. There will always be some anxiety in life as unknowns will always be a part of our future, but I want that anxiety to be one that heightens my awareness. I could do with less anxiety that revolves around me living up to some one's expectations of who I am and what I can do for them.
Recognizing that I have issues with unhealthy anxiety makes me more aware that others may also. Awareness allows me to reflect on the expectations that I put on others. I've started taking time to work some small talk in before making a request, even on the telephone. I never wanted to waste peoples' time before so I would try to be efficient and get to the point. I now see how the small effort on my part allows both of us to relax a bit before delving into the 'reason' for the encounter.
I've given up on inviting people over or to go do things, for now anyway. Those invites, though always accepted, sometimes more than once, were seldom reciprocated. I tend to take that as rejection, but perhaps it was their anxiety interfering. So as I work on not being all things to all people, I understand that others' temper, meltdown, or breakdown, is beyond my control and I will no longer try to keep balance in the universe. I can just walk away; or skip, because that is much more fun.
Sunday, March 25, 2018
Sometimes Things Don't Go as Planned
PAUSE. Seems like it has been a long pause. Fibromyalgia made me take a pause. After day 5 of eating a nutritarian diet, I had a bad flare-up and not sure why but could have been several factors. On day six I participated in a 5k walk to benefit a friend with breast cancer. I felt okay that day but I knew that probably wouldn't last.
It didn't. The next couple weeks were bad. Soreness of course but also swimmy head. Not sure if I was fighting something or just part of the flare-up. The exercise related soreness which was in my legs/shins due to walking on asphalt the whole 5k departed after 3-4 days but the all over aching took over and has stayed although mostly just in my arms now. I added back comfort starches (potatoes, rice, pasta) and didn't really portion them but I felt I needed that during this flare-up. Eating all the salads and cutting veg just seemed too daunting as it takes quite a bit of time and my energy was non-existent.
I have maintained a 5.8 pound weight loss and feel like I'm about ready to get back to eating the nutritarian way. I think I will add a serving of starch to the evening meal as I have a lot of trouble sleeping and feel this extra bit of starch helps with that. I'm also working in a bit of intermittent fasting and trying to wait at least 12 hours after supper to eat anything. I do feel better doing this although if I eat a non-starchy supper it makes for a long night and falling asleep is a lot harder.
I still have not had any cookies, cake, candy, etc. since giving them up for lent. I don't miss them and every now and then I almost grab a cookie to eat with my coffee but then remember I"m not eating that. Funny how things become a mindless habit. I definitely won't go back to eating those things regularly but not sure as of yet, how I will allow them in my life.
I often wonder how I can need so much sleep and tiredness always seems to be with me. I power through a lot but sometimes pay with exhaustion afterward. Golf season has started so walking one to two golf courses a week will be the norm. Last week it was a cold windy evening and cold always seems to affect FM. That's life though and I will support my child during the season so what will be will be.
It didn't. The next couple weeks were bad. Soreness of course but also swimmy head. Not sure if I was fighting something or just part of the flare-up. The exercise related soreness which was in my legs/shins due to walking on asphalt the whole 5k departed after 3-4 days but the all over aching took over and has stayed although mostly just in my arms now. I added back comfort starches (potatoes, rice, pasta) and didn't really portion them but I felt I needed that during this flare-up. Eating all the salads and cutting veg just seemed too daunting as it takes quite a bit of time and my energy was non-existent.
I have maintained a 5.8 pound weight loss and feel like I'm about ready to get back to eating the nutritarian way. I think I will add a serving of starch to the evening meal as I have a lot of trouble sleeping and feel this extra bit of starch helps with that. I'm also working in a bit of intermittent fasting and trying to wait at least 12 hours after supper to eat anything. I do feel better doing this although if I eat a non-starchy supper it makes for a long night and falling asleep is a lot harder.
I still have not had any cookies, cake, candy, etc. since giving them up for lent. I don't miss them and every now and then I almost grab a cookie to eat with my coffee but then remember I"m not eating that. Funny how things become a mindless habit. I definitely won't go back to eating those things regularly but not sure as of yet, how I will allow them in my life.
I often wonder how I can need so much sleep and tiredness always seems to be with me. I power through a lot but sometimes pay with exhaustion afterward. Golf season has started so walking one to two golf courses a week will be the norm. Last week it was a cold windy evening and cold always seems to affect FM. That's life though and I will support my child during the season so what will be will be.
Thursday, March 1, 2018
Three Days and a -6.2 Pound Jolt of Encouragement
As of this morning, I have successfully completed three days on the Six-Week Eat to Live plan. Scale now shows a 6.2 pound weight loss for those 3 days. Sure, 90% has been water but that is still over six pounds that I do not have to carry around or that will stress my joints. Joints are important as you age and you realize that with each passing year.
Day one of course was the most challenging as I was just hungry. I wanted something to munch on but I stuck it out. The next day I was 3.4 pounds lighter which was a pretty good motivator for day two. I found that radishes could satisfy the need for crunch.
Day two, I woke to another 2 pounds gone. Definitely feeling better and noticed that I slept through the night both nights after following this way of eating. That is huge for a life-long insomniac.
Day three saw another .8 pounds released. I feel more energetic and feel lighter when I walk. Hunger is much less today and I actually went several hours after getting up before I ate anything. The 3-4 p.m. time is always low energy time and of wanting something to eat. Yesterday and today, I ate a banana. They are actually pretty filling.
Today's lunch was:
1.5 cups spinach and arugula mix
3 artichoke heats
1oz roasted pepper strips
3/4 cup garbanzo beans
1 T balsamic vinegar
1 carrot
1 orange
1 apple
When you're hungry, food tastes wonderful One thing that is great about eating a clean diet, each bite tastes complex and you can really distinguish flavors. I've noticed this a lot since going plant based. So many common products are just one note. We switched to quality dark chocolate a couple years before going plant based. After that a Hershey's bar or other common candy bars just tasted like sugar. It was so disappointing after you adjusted to good quality chocolate. I find the same for regular restaurant food. Since we are so used to eating at home, eating out is often disappointing. Many things just taste salty. Once you cut back on salt, it is quite shocking how much of it is in common foods.
A couple of birthday celebrations are coming up. Not sure how those will go, however, the sweets are off the menu due to my lent commitment.
Looking forward to some fresh asparagus coming up in the garden soon. Some new flavors will be nice. If your are eating the Eat to Live, McDougall, or Forks Over Knives way, I'd love to connect. Leave me a comment below.
Monday, February 26, 2018
Committing Six-Weeks to the Nutritarian Six-Week Plan
Winter is hard on a gardening soul like me. Gardening is my exercise. Tilling, planting, hauling soil, compost, and mulch; are my exercise. Yes, I do them 6-7 days a week barring a deluge. I live on acreage. Hiking is great in spring and fall, but not in summer due to ticks and snakes. Winter, however, I have to choose such things as my eliptical or exercise dvd's which are okay for a week or two but then soooo boring. An excuse, I know, but until I have a mental shift about it, that's how I feel.
So, I have gained back all 19 of the pounds I took off last year (insert scream here). Did I know they were stealthily slipping back on since the tennis travel days (small town choices when spending six to eight hours on the road each day traveling and watching high school sports: McDonald's {fries I thought were vegan but learned they are not} or occasionally Taco Bell })? Yes, I did,{bean burrito fresco} but thought once the season ended I would quickly return to preseason weight. Plant Based eating works great at home, not so much when eating out in my state. I can get a few plant based things just not always healthy ones.
There lies my snare. I eat plant based, will forevermore eat plant based unless I am actually in a survival situation where I am literally starving. Currently, however, I am eating an unhealthy plant based diet. Not all the time. Just enough to take in too much fat and calories and gain all 19 pounds back (insert scream again). My fault; I accept full responsibility.
To my credit, I decided to participate as a non-catholic in lent by making a sacrifice that would, in a small way, acknowledge the sacrifice Jesus made for me. I gave up all cookies, candy, cake, etc. Two birthdays coming up but oh, well, a promise is a promise. This 'sacrifice' has had no benefit in the weight loss department. When I started, I thought it would be a catalyst to starting the scale back down but it didn't work like that which was okay since that was not my motivation but would have been a welcome by-product.
Now. what am I going to do about it all? I'm going to get back on track with a very clean plant based eating plan. I started today. Going well so far but feeling like munching often. Part of the bad habits that got me here. Things like pretzels, rice cakes, hummus on veggies or toast, avocados which are all plant based foods but also are high in salt, fat, or both. Salt is a biggie and leads to eating more than a serving.
When I started my plant based journey, I began with the Rice Diet developed by Dr. Kempner. Names like: McDougall, Greger, Fuhrman, and Campbell are regulars in my reading and great sources of recipes and research information. The very restricted Rice Diet plan was my jumping off point and gave me great success. I had thought about doing it again but chose Fuhrman's Eat to Live, Six-Week Plan as it is focused more on green veggies and less on starch and right now I don't think rice of any kind is a good starting point for me at this stage of my journey. I need something more cleansing and nutrition packed to reset my tastes away from the salt and fats.
It doesn't help that I'm a good cook. We have been eating very well as a couple of gung-ho herbivores. and a reluctant part-time one. Spanish rice, taco soup, chili, potato burritos, potato soup, many variations of stir-fry, etc. I have not really paid attention to portion control and obviously took in more total calories than used. Having a very simple plan with limited cooking means less time in the kitchen and less time being creative and making tempting food. I'm actually looking forward to a break because in actuality, I spend a good deal of time in the kitchen so this should give me some time to do other things.
There is no set meal plan per Dr Fuhrman, just a daily amount and types of food with many things unlimited. Below are my choices so far today:
Breakfast today was: 1.5 kiwis (the other half was added to child's lunch), orange, and coffee. Not sure if coffee is on the plan but since I don't plan on giving it up anytime in the near future it is on my plan. This fruit really did hold me over until about 11 a.m.
Lunch: 2 cups spinach/arugula mix, 2 artichoke hearts, 1/2 cup garbanzo beans, 1 Tbs. balsamic vinegar, 1 carrot, an apple, and 2 ribs celery.
Hopefully, tomorrow will bring a bit of sunshine carried on the beams of a lower number. Yes, it will be water weight but if I don't need it, why carry it?
So, I have gained back all 19 of the pounds I took off last year (insert scream here). Did I know they were stealthily slipping back on since the tennis travel days (small town choices when spending six to eight hours on the road each day traveling and watching high school sports: McDonald's {fries I thought were vegan but learned they are not} or occasionally Taco Bell })? Yes, I did,{bean burrito fresco} but thought once the season ended I would quickly return to preseason weight. Plant Based eating works great at home, not so much when eating out in my state. I can get a few plant based things just not always healthy ones.
There lies my snare. I eat plant based, will forevermore eat plant based unless I am actually in a survival situation where I am literally starving. Currently, however, I am eating an unhealthy plant based diet. Not all the time. Just enough to take in too much fat and calories and gain all 19 pounds back (insert scream again). My fault; I accept full responsibility.
To my credit, I decided to participate as a non-catholic in lent by making a sacrifice that would, in a small way, acknowledge the sacrifice Jesus made for me. I gave up all cookies, candy, cake, etc. Two birthdays coming up but oh, well, a promise is a promise. This 'sacrifice' has had no benefit in the weight loss department. When I started, I thought it would be a catalyst to starting the scale back down but it didn't work like that which was okay since that was not my motivation but would have been a welcome by-product.
Now. what am I going to do about it all? I'm going to get back on track with a very clean plant based eating plan. I started today. Going well so far but feeling like munching often. Part of the bad habits that got me here. Things like pretzels, rice cakes, hummus on veggies or toast, avocados which are all plant based foods but also are high in salt, fat, or both. Salt is a biggie and leads to eating more than a serving.
When I started my plant based journey, I began with the Rice Diet developed by Dr. Kempner. Names like: McDougall, Greger, Fuhrman, and Campbell are regulars in my reading and great sources of recipes and research information. The very restricted Rice Diet plan was my jumping off point and gave me great success. I had thought about doing it again but chose Fuhrman's Eat to Live, Six-Week Plan as it is focused more on green veggies and less on starch and right now I don't think rice of any kind is a good starting point for me at this stage of my journey. I need something more cleansing and nutrition packed to reset my tastes away from the salt and fats.
It doesn't help that I'm a good cook. We have been eating very well as a couple of gung-ho herbivores. and a reluctant part-time one. Spanish rice, taco soup, chili, potato burritos, potato soup, many variations of stir-fry, etc. I have not really paid attention to portion control and obviously took in more total calories than used. Having a very simple plan with limited cooking means less time in the kitchen and less time being creative and making tempting food. I'm actually looking forward to a break because in actuality, I spend a good deal of time in the kitchen so this should give me some time to do other things.
There is no set meal plan per Dr Fuhrman, just a daily amount and types of food with many things unlimited. Below are my choices so far today:
Breakfast today was: 1.5 kiwis (the other half was added to child's lunch), orange, and coffee. Not sure if coffee is on the plan but since I don't plan on giving it up anytime in the near future it is on my plan. This fruit really did hold me over until about 11 a.m.
Lunch: 2 cups spinach/arugula mix, 2 artichoke hearts, 1/2 cup garbanzo beans, 1 Tbs. balsamic vinegar, 1 carrot, an apple, and 2 ribs celery.
Hopefully, tomorrow will bring a bit of sunshine carried on the beams of a lower number. Yes, it will be water weight but if I don't need it, why carry it?
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
Music and Mood
Last post, I really was just thinking about beginning the journey to find out who I am at this point in my life. I really didn't have anything specific on my list to begin with except knowing that I like being creative and problem solving. Well, I realized something else this week. Listening to music has a huge influence on my mood and well-being.
I love listening to a variety of music, Pavarotti to AC/DC, Groban to Hank Williams, Jr. all have their place in my life. Music helps me work better and more importantly, happier. I really haven't listened to music as much as I would like in my adult life. Mainly, I listen to music in my car when I'm alone or on road trips when I'm driving and everyone else is sleeping. Alexa has changed that a bit. Now, I can ask her to play whatever suites my mood and mostly it works out as the television is far enough away in another room that no one is bothered by my music. Oh, I couldn't have worked on my master's degree very well with music going....I'm from another time in that regard. Quiet during homework was always my mantra. However, many other tasks that are more physical rather than mental can be done so much more pleasantly in the company of music. An added benefit is more movement. It is almost impossible to not dance, boogie, waltz, or sway to the rhythm of a good song.
So, music makes me happy. That's a start. Below you will see my daily goal for 2018. So everyday, I will try to create something. This could take many forms: make a card, a scrapbook page, cook a dish, plant a flower or vegetable, make a stain glass panel, make a piece of jewelry, or even create a new memory. There are no bounds or preconceptions. That would be anti-creative. Will I miss a day? Perhaps. Life often defies my plans but it is something for me to aspire to. I'm documenting this part of my journey on Instagram. I'm new to Instagram but I'm looking forward to using it in this way. Follow me @ Revision in Progress/Create.
I love listening to a variety of music, Pavarotti to AC/DC, Groban to Hank Williams, Jr. all have their place in my life. Music helps me work better and more importantly, happier. I really haven't listened to music as much as I would like in my adult life. Mainly, I listen to music in my car when I'm alone or on road trips when I'm driving and everyone else is sleeping. Alexa has changed that a bit. Now, I can ask her to play whatever suites my mood and mostly it works out as the television is far enough away in another room that no one is bothered by my music. Oh, I couldn't have worked on my master's degree very well with music going....I'm from another time in that regard. Quiet during homework was always my mantra. However, many other tasks that are more physical rather than mental can be done so much more pleasantly in the company of music. An added benefit is more movement. It is almost impossible to not dance, boogie, waltz, or sway to the rhythm of a good song.
So, music makes me happy. That's a start. Below you will see my daily goal for 2018. So everyday, I will try to create something. This could take many forms: make a card, a scrapbook page, cook a dish, plant a flower or vegetable, make a stain glass panel, make a piece of jewelry, or even create a new memory. There are no bounds or preconceptions. That would be anti-creative. Will I miss a day? Perhaps. Life often defies my plans but it is something for me to aspire to. I'm documenting this part of my journey on Instagram. I'm new to Instagram but I'm looking forward to using it in this way. Follow me @ Revision in Progress/Create.
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